Selfish

I’m the type of the person who is always trying to do everything or over extending myself. I constantly agree to things before I even know if I am able to. One problem is I love helping people and forget to take account of my well-being. When my life gets complicated by trying to do too much, I begin to get little panic attacks. At these moments, I sit back and take deep breaths saying to myself, “It’s alright.” Then, I make a mental checklist of everything and when it needs to be completed. I go over what I would need to do in order for everything to be accomplished. At this point, the panic has subsided and I feel better. In the past, I have usually managed to complete everything, but at the sacrifice of my own personal needs. New plan, learn to say no and don’t rely on distractions to forget my own problems. Easier said than done, but I have been saying no and working on being at least a little selfish.

Welcome, everyone!  This is my first blog post.  It ail be the first of many.  This first post is a flash fiction I wrote.  Enjoy!

“I’m a member of OTA.”  I say matter-of-factly.
My friend stares at me over her mocha confused.  “OTA?”
“Over Thinkers Anonymous, obviously.”
“Yeah, obviously.”  my friend replies sarcastically.  “And what does this group do exactly?”
I glance up at the tiled ceiling.  “Well, we  think about meeting once a month, or everyday, or a week.”
“So, when do you actually meet?”
“Still thinking about meeting.  Then, there’s the decision of time after that.  So many things to think about.”
“But you never actually meet.” she states.
“Yes, and your point?”
My friend rolls her eyes and leans back in the wooden chair.  “How exactly do you think you are an over thinker?”
“Hmm...I was thinking of starting a blog.  I follow three blogs now, and I’ve wanted to do it for awhile.  Then, I started thinking whatever I choose to do a blog about has to be interesting.  It needs to be perfect or people won’t follow it.  What if I pick the wrong thing?  I came up with one idea after another, and it was never quite right.  It’s been three weeks, and I haven’t gotten past the brainstorming stage.  This very same thing happened when I wanted to sew a cover for me pillow.  I couldn’t move past picking the fabric, too many colors, too many types of materials.  It seems to be a problem for so I sought out this group.”
My friend puts down her cup and leans forward.  “Let me see if I understand you correctly.  You joined a group because you procrastinate and cannot make a decision.”
“Correct.”
My friend shakes her head in exasperation.  “Okay.  You’re right you do have problems.”

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